10 Days of Meditation – The Experience I Will Never Forget – Part Two
Read Vipassana Course Part One here.
Vipassana Course Day Six
Yesterday I went to bed deeply thinking about whether there is a real earthly love or not and I came to the conclusion that any person could love anyone if you look deep into one’s heart. And then I got this dream when I fell asleep:
I was a lonely traveler, visiting many beautiful places of India. I had no money and traveled only because of the gratitude of people. One day I met a Japanese lady. She was really nice and offered to show me the local sights of that particular town. Whilst showing me round she noticed a big injury on my leg and told me that it might be incurable. We both decided to find a medicine point to treat my injury.
Whilst searching the lady became unwell and fainted. I got really scared and rushed to find help. I came across a military van with a few men. I explained what happened and one man decided to help. (He was a Japanese guy.) I unfortunately forgot where I left her and we both tried to find the place where she was. We had to wander through many weird looking streets with scary clowns and strange people.
Finally I saw the lady from afar and it looked like she became crazy, but as soon as we approached her she gained full consciousness. I was relieved that she was well but I felt embarrassed that I wasted the Japanese guy’s time. I also felt like I owed the lady because she was so nice to me. I was thinking how I could repay her for taking time to show me round.
When the Japanese lady and the Japanese military guy saw each other I felt a huge love they had towards one another. Tears started flowing from my eyes, followed by the tears in the guy’s and lady’s eyes. The lady said as though reading my mind:
“How could you owe me anything when you found the love of my life?”
And the guy then said:
“How could you feel like you wasted my time when you found the love of my life?”
After such words I started openly weeping and the tears of total release ran down my cheeks.
I woke up totally amazed at this dream. It indeed could be a movie plot. It made me think though about the concept of real love again. Now this dream confused me because I was almost convinced that no true earthly love exists, as I explained earlier in this blog post. And now out of the blue this dream-movie landed and made me deeply think about this issue again. I guess I need more meditation to gain full understanding about the subject of earthly love.
As for the silence, it’s easy for me not to talk to anyone due to the type of business I am in. In London (where I live) I sometimes stay at home for the whole day writing and thinking about some self improvement topic, so it’s not the first time I don’t talk to anyone for a long period of time. Even when I don’t need to work on my business I sometimes choose to stay completely alone for a while, to regain my balance, rest from the chaos and strengthen my receptivity to the inner voice.
However I understand how for some people this silence for 10 days would be a complete torture. Some of my friends, for example, can’t be quiet for 10 minutes, let alone 10 days. In this Vipassana meditation centre some people find it easy to stay quiet and some people’s faces are becoming increasingly more unhappy due to their inability to express feelings and thoughts outwardly.
Vipassana Course Day Seven
In the morning I again got a symbolic dream. This time I dreamt that I got a very expensive dark green dress from a shop and forgot to pay for it. I was in the store with my brother. We went out of the store and got home and only then did I remember that I forgot to pay for the dress. I tried it on again and it looked absolutely stunning.
I looked at the price tag and I realised that I couldn’t afford to buy it. I knew I had to return it, but I really didn’t want to. Then I woke up.
It was the seventh day of total silence today and I must admit that I broke it. As I didn’t leave any of my belongings with the meditation centre staff my mobile phone was with me. For some reason my boyfriend called, although he knew I wouldn’t be able to answer any calls for ten days. He called me a few times until I decided to answer, thinking that it might be something important he wanted to tell me.
As soon as I heard his first sentences an understanding as clear as it gets came to me – I needed to break up with him. His voice was totally empty of love, it was more the idea of me, the desire to be with me that kept him wanting to be in the relationship. Never in my life could I read the truth of another person better than at this very moment. I straight away told him that I could no longer be with him because we were together for the wrong reasons. There were other personal issues (I will disclose them in my book) that caused doubt in the past and now I was completely certain that breaking up was the best option for us.
So this conversation showed me the power of not talking for several days and I regretted slightly that I broke the silence after seven and not ten days. However I may do this course again and then I will definitely not break the silence for the entire duration of the course. And if you ever do this kind of course I wholeheartedly advice you not to break the silence either.
Needless to say I shut up for the last few remaining days until the silence was officially broken.
During my meditations I sometimes get back pains, but not as bad as I used to get. It seems like they are gradually disappearing. Pains, as my assigned teacher explains, are nothing more but past angers, jealousies and other negative behaviours I allowed myself to indulge in. And if I don’t react to such pains and let them naturally pass, I will get rid of these negativities and purify my mind as a result. I will as though cleanse myself to be more receptive to God.
I’ve noticed that sometimes I feel a bit agitated and my focus gets lost. This is natural however, because my body and mind is going through an intense cleansing process, “the surgery” as the founder of the centre calls this state of being. There are still bottled up thoughts and feelings in me and I’m glad that this meditation technique helps me get rid of them.
Vipassana Course Day Eight
This morning I once again got a symbolic dream. This time I dreamt that I saw a stunning small red butterfly/bird-like creature flying near me. I extended my arm and, to everyone’s surprise, this butterfly landed on my finger. I couldn’t believe my eyes that such creature would land on my hand, I kept looking in complete surprise at this gorgeous being. I even walked round the garden and went into some house with the creature and it still stayed on my hand. I showed it to my mother and other people who followed my movements with great interest.
Then I decided to take a picture of this beautiful creature to remember it forever. And as soon as I took out the camera the butterfly-bird disappeared into nothingness.
Now the way I would interpret such dream in relation to my life is that I should be more fully in the moment rather than thinking about sharing this moment with others. I see the point. I made the mental note of this advice which came so cleverly hidden.
Today the founder’s discourse was excellent. He taught how you can stop generating new sankaras (karmic consequences) by not reacting to what happens at the present moment. When you stop generating new sankaras, the old ones arise in the form of sensations (pains, tingling, tickling, etc.) and memories. If you again don’t react to these you will eliminate the past sankaras and when you get into the habit of doing so your mind will become more and more pure until you achieve enlightenment.
Even if your reaction to something is positive you still generate craving of this very experience. This as a result generates misery later for you. Therefore even good sensations, according to the founder, should not be reacted to.
I’m grateful for the founder to have taught me that if you don’t react with your mind to what happens you will always make the right decisions. This will be so because your mind will remain balanced no matter what you see or how your body reacts.
The founder also mentioned that if you are full of compassion and love for others no matter how they behave, you are on the path to enlightenment. If some person wrongs you, you should feel compassion for them as they were used as a vehicle for your karma. If not them, someone else would have wronged you anyway as you can’t escape your karma.
According to the meditation centre founder, during meditation the more pains, heat, itching, etc. you feel in your body, the more sankaras you accumulated in your present or past life.
Today and yesterday I got a knock on my door and when I opened it an elderly lady apologised and went away. Then after an hour I saw her trying to see through my window inside and then checking if my room is locked. When I heard her checking my lock I opened the door and she was already going away. Then after a few minutes I went to check where she was and saw my neighbor angrily looking at the elderly lady walking away. I asked if she was checking her door too and she said yes. So I reported that to my meditation teacher and she told me she would take care of this matter.
Vipassana Course Day Nine
Today is the last silent day, tomorrow is the breaking of noble silence. I don’t want to talk at all and it’s easy for me to meditate for an hour at a time. The teacher asked me to come to her residence and she explained that the lady from yesterday is not a thief but was looking for her relative. I’m still not convinced since if that would be the case she would go to the management of the centre and ask for the number of her relative’s room rather than checking the locks of the rooms.
Justine, my Australian friend, is doing very well, totally getting the benefits from the meditation and it’s the first time she did any kind of meditation at all.
One Iranian lady, I remember, came to this meditation centre all smiling and as the days passed by her smile was replaced by the painful expression. Today and a few days back she was crying all the time. Different people have different experiences in this meditation centre. Sometimes during meditations someone would start loudly crying. Some old disturbing memory would creep up out of nowhere causing a person to instantly get emotional.
Once I was meditating and started uncontrollably laughing because I unexpectedly remembered one very funny event in my life. So I totally understand people who cannot control their emotions whilst in a deep meditation. The memory catches you very unexpectedly and appears very realistic and you cannot do anything but emotionally react to it.
Today was the first day that we got food with sugar and since my body was almost sugar free for 10 days I didn’t feel well after this meal. But now I’m okay as I drank a lot of water. So the craving for sugar is gone.
I don’t know if I’m looking forward to the end of the time at the Vipassana meditation centre or not. It’s like another world here, I feel a bit constrained since I can’t do everything I want but at the same time I feel very peaceful and happy. It’s a strange experience and I might go to such course again sometime. But I’m also looking forward to my time in Goa (I’m going to Goa after this meditation course). As one of my friends later on put it: “You are going from the most sacred place to the sin city of India”.
Today the teacher asked me and Justine to come to see her and I thought I’m in trouble for something. I quickly thought over what things I had done in ashram to be called out. Maybe someone noticed me and another girl climb on the roof of one of the houses. Maybe someone saw me wondering in the jungle, where I was not supposed to go. Or maybe someone found out that all my belongings were in my room.
However the reason for the teacher calling us was to let us know that she arranged an earlier session for us to finish the course. At the beginning of a course we told the teacher that we would be leaving for Goa on the train early. The teacher firstly told that it would not be possible as we signed an agreement to leave the ashram only when the course ends. Having heard that we decided not to do anything and wait. And thankfully the universe took care of this matter.
Vipassana Course Day Ten
Since morning I feel the tension in the air – everyone wants to speak but the silence breaks at 11 am. At 10 am whilst walking near my house I could hear some talking going on and some women could not constrain ourselves from talking in the queue for the meal.
The centre founder says that on the 10th day people’s faces are as radiant as ever due to the benefits they got from the course. I would say that most of the faces are radiant because people can finally speak after 10 days of silence.
In the canteen almost everyone started talking although there was still time left till 11 am. Finally 11 o’clock came and me and my Australian friend started talking about significant and insignificant things, mainly about our experiences in the ashram.
We both found out that we were extremely sleepy for the first few days due to the change of energy. In the ashram the energy is so peaceful that all you want to do at first is sleep. And then you gradually adjust to the energy and require only your normal sleeping hours.
We also both had symbolic dreams and I told Justine about my visions too. Justine was the one that was talking most – as a result of this silence I started talking less. I now tend to only talk when I have something important to say and not just to fill the silence with words.
Before the final discourse I decided to leave something for my assigned meditation teacher. She is such a devoted person, completely sacrificing her life to teach students. She sits in the meditation posture for hours every day, barely seeing the daylight. Once I went to the meditation building alone and sat there for a while. I looked at her seat and saw many prescribed medicines. I felt at that moment so sad for the teacher.
Because I didn’t have any particular valuables I could give as gifts to the teacher, I left a self improvement book and my favourite shawl next to her door. I hope she liked the gifts when she found them.
Once the course was finished we headed to catch an auto to the train station. Another lady from ashram was catching the same train to Goa so she showed us the platform and we stood together in the train station talking about the experiences each of us had during our meditations. She bought us lunch and refused our money because she insisted that that’s the Indian hospitality and that’s the least she could offer for us as her guests.
The train got to the platform after a short delay. We managed to quickly find our compartment. It was a comfortable air conditioned compartment and we both got the upper berths for our journey.
I will soon update you about my adventures in the sin city of India – Goa!
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My name is Simona Rich and I help people improve themselves through the articles and products of this website. Although I have found my life's purpose and now I spend my time traveling throughout India and sharing my knowledge, my life used to be completely different.
[...] hour journey me and my Australian friend slept for only under an hour. We had so much to talk about after the ashram. It was a big relief for Justine to talk again after 10 days of silence. She talked so much that [...]
[...] The advice about silence in the book is also great. Try to be completely silent at least for a day – it will calm your mind and awaken your intuition. The longer you keep quiet, the more benefits you get. I wrote about what happened after my days of silence in an ashram in this bog post. [...]