Book Review: The Four Agreements
As a coach and teacher of personal development, I am very proud to say that I am also a lifetime student of personal development. Over my twelve plus years of studying and gleaning, I have read many, many books and attended many lectures, seminars and workshops.
Of all the material I have amassed, I always return to one book that has become a cornerstone of my coaching, my teaching and my own life. That book is The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book
The premise is very simple: in order to have a life of peace and harmony, make and keep agreements with yourself. One way to bring about suffering in your life is to break the agreements. So, what are these simple yet life-altering agreements?
- Be Impeccable With Your Word
- Don’t Take Anything Personally
- Don’t Make Assumptions
- Always Do Your Best
As Don Miguel describes them:
Be Impeccable With Your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don’t Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don’t Make Assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
Over the years, I have returned to these Four Agreements as a reference of study as well as for teaching and coaching with clients. Like, Don Miguel, I too believe that mastering these four agreements can profoundly shift how you view the world and yourself. For example, in my own life, I am extremely careful about how I use my words. Words have the power to heal or the power to harm. Honoring the agreement to Be Impeccable With Your Word can give you that moment of pause to ask yourself if what you are about to say will be healing or harmful. Your words, especially harsh, angry words, can be the hardest things to retrieve and can have lasting regret attached.
“If you break an agreement, begin again tomorrow, and again the next day. It will be difficult at first, but each day will become easier and easier, until someday you will discover that you are ruling your life with these Four Agreements. And, you will be surprised at the way your life has been transformed.
“Do not be concerned about the future; keep your attention on today, and stay in the present moment. Just live one day at a time. Always do your best to keep these agreements, and soon it will be easy for you. Today is the beginning of a new dream.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz
This is not a book I have read once and put on the shelf to collect dust. I refer to this small book constantly. I even have an audio version that I listen to at least once a week. It is said that we need reminding more than we need instructing. I was also privileged to attend an evening lecture with Don Miguel and his son, Miguel, Jr. Very powerful! It was amazing to see so many people impacted by the teachings of this humble man. I even met an educator who created an entire curriculum around the agreements and has implemented it for the children in her school.
I have made an agreement to make these four agreements a habitual part of my life. They have become my default mode – instead of reverting back to the old programming that no longer serves me and keeps me stuck and suffering. The Four Agreements can change your life, if you make the choice and if you make the agreement.
Note: Don Miguel has come out with a Fifth Agreement which is also wonderful. But I suggest you first master The Four Agreements and watch how profoundly you will experience true freedom, happiness and peace.
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As a Spiritual Animator, Author and Advocate, Carolyn Townes has been teaching, coaching and facilitating workshops for over a decade in the areas of women’s wellness. Founder of Spirit Women Institute, she is dedicated to empowering and encouraging women to lead lives of peace and prosperity, journeying with those going through difficult life transitions.
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