The Opening of My Third Eye

As I was asking for an answer concerning my two emotions that governed my life for so many years (fear and rage) I have received it at one night at the beginning of January this year.

It was somewhere between 3-4 in the morning. I was perfectly aware that it was not a dream but something else. I was a child, a girl but I cannot remember how old I was. It was some kind of big house, with oriental details, pretty much in red. It was very silent, I could hear the wind pushing the curtains from the windows.

The rooms were separated with curtains not with doors as they are today. There were a lot of carpets there and it seemed that people in that family were sleeping and eating on the floor. I was just standing there in a corner and looking at the place lonely, with the curtains moving and I was remember thinking that here must be living a huge family because there is a lot of space.

At some point, at the left side I saw a bed on the floor, it looked to me as a bed, with 3 pillows in it. As if 3 people or children were sleeping in the same bed and I wondered : who might sleep here?

All these details took a few seconds to observe. At least it seemed that way. But most of all, I remember the feeling. It was RAGE that I was left alone in that space or house maybe. It was absolutely nobody there, just me in a corner. I was looking for my mom and she was not anywhere to be found. IT WAS EXACTLY THE SAME FEELING THAT I HAD SINCE I KNOW MYSELF: RAGE.

I could feel it clearly. At some point I realized that it is the same feeling that I have in my life now. Then I suddenly opened my eyes for a second. I become aware clearly of my room, of the light left on and of my computer also left on on my desk.

All in a second, I become aware of these. And then I closed them again. And the vision started exactly from where it stopped. I was exactly at the same empty house, alone, looking for my mom and feeling angry towards her for leaving me there. And all of a sudden, I could hear some steps, strong steps, doing a lot of noise and it seemed that it did not care about the noise made. At that point, I started to feel FEAR. Exactly the same feeling that I have in my real life. And I start screaming for my mom, with all my voice, with all my power I cried and screamed her name: Mom!

But she did not come! The steps kept coming closer to me. I could see the legs clearly. I could not say if there was a man or a woman. The steps were so strong like the steps of a soldier. That person was wearing some black tights or pants, it had very strong legs and some big rubber shoes that seemed larger that its feet.

The shoe look some kind familiar to me as the ones that were used by my grandparents when they were working in the field and outside was raining. There were the shoes they used to protect from rain. But I could not see if there were the legs of a woman or a man. But I could see them clearly and I was crying and calling my mom. I could feel an unbelievable rage because my mom left and abandoned me there. The feeling of Rage seemed bigger than my soul. It was not hate, it was Rage.

As the steps came closer and closer, and now they were pretty close to me, I woke up. That was probably the moment I died. As never before, I woke up easily and peaceful. I did not fear any fear at all. Usually after a dream I feel exhausted and anxious and I need a couple of minutes or even the whole day to come back again.

But this time no, I stood up very peacefully and than I sat on my bed again and begin to realize what just happened to me. I was aware that there were images from my past life and not an ordinary dream. And a thought came into my mind: my third eye opened. I knew that there it was the answer that I was asking for, meaning where is the fear and rage coming from? It seemed that I was born with them. I simply did not know how to live without these two feelings. And now I know. I have been answered.

Since that night I am not afraid any longer. Since that night I understand why I have always hated to be a child, why I could not wait to become an adult. Since that night I understand why my soul always felt older that my body really was, when I used to be a child. It felt like I was an adult in a child body. Since that night I understand why I always feel the need to take care of some one. It seems the most natural thing in the world for me and I do it the best.

Since that night I understand why as I get older I feel that the life just begins for me (while others get depressed as they get older) and why being a child simply did not feel right in my skin. But I guess I needed to be a child or a teenager in this life as I died a child or very young in my past life. My believe is that I am going to live a long life in this life and my greatest time is from now on.

Lora Ciocan

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About Lora: I am a person who succeeded in transforming FEAR and RAGE into CARE and LOVE. The best thing about me is to TAKE CARE. I am a passionate writer: articles, article reviewing, blog posts, ebooks, book reviewing, on different topics. I write both in English and French. Email me at l_cio_77@yahoo.com.

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