The Power of Your Words
Unless you are a monk, a hermit, or dealing with some debilitating illness of the throat, there is something you will use on a daily basis – your words. Most people don’t give much thought to the words they use everyday, while others take every word very seriously. Writers and actors take the words, whether written or spoken, very seriously because it is their livelihood. But what about the rest? Do they think about the words they write or speak before they write or speak those words? I dare say, they do not!
How many times have you said something to someone and later regretted saying it? How many times have you dashed off an angry email only later wishing you hadn’t hit the “send” button? Have you ever said something unkind about someone that later spread as malicious gossip? Perhaps you have had one or all of these scenarios, but whether you have or not, I would suspect that you have at least uttered an unflattering or even degrading comment about yourself at some point. The occasional “Oh, I am so stupid! Why did I do that?” or, “Oh, I am so fat! Why did I eat that second piece of cake?” or, “I am so broke; I can’t afford this, that or the other!” Sound familiar?
Whether you are speaking or writing your words to another or yourself, your words have the power to heal or to harm. I remember Oprah Winfrey once saying that verbal abuse is much more devastating than physical abuse because in physical abuse, as horrible as it is, the physical scars do eventually heal. But the invisible scars left by verbal or emotional abuse lasts forever.
This really struck me because I was constantly verbally abused as a child and adolescent. I was bullied in school as well, so nowhere really felt safe for me. As I grew older, one of my integrity pledges was to never contribute to anyone’s suffering with my words. Perhaps that is why I am an empowerment coach today. I know the detriment of feeling utterly disempowered; but I also know that feeling of empowerment – and I want everyone to live in the latter.
In his best-selling book, The Four Agreements, author and teacher, Don Miguel Ruiz describes four agreements that we need to make and consistently keep if we are to live an authentic, empowered and fulfilled life. The first of his four agreements is “Be Impeccable With Your Word.” Don Miguel goes on to explain the power of our words and how they can create a life or destroy a life.
“Why your word? Your word is the power that you have to create. Your word is your gift that comes from God…. It is through the word that you manifest everything. Regardless of what language you speak, your intent manifests through the word. What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements.
Why do we tend to be so destructive with our words? Our words come from our thoughts and because we have far more negative thoughts than positive thoughts, it would stand to reason that we would have far more negative and destructive words.
Our negative thoughts lead to our negative feelings which translate into negative words and behaviors. This isn’t deliberate malicious intent on our part, mind you. It is a by-product of our past programming which leads to the experiences we have in life. If we are programmed as a child to believe that all wealthy people are evil and corrupt, then as we grow up that becomes our belief and ultimately our external experiences.
Only the stories of the “corrupt and evil” wealthy will come into our awareness; thus proving our point about the wealthy being evil and corrupt. The sad truth is that because of this belief, we will never become wealthy ourselves. We will always live in lack, scarcity and barely enough. Why? Because for us to become wealthy would mean that we would be evil and corrupt – lest we burst the bubble of the illusion of our belief.
We speak words everyday – again, less you took a vow of silence. Those words spoken come from the thoughts fed to us by our past programming which creates our present reality. Until we learn to only speak out words that encourage and empower, will we constantly live in limitation due to our thoughts and words. This takes deliberate and intentional effort on our part. Before you speak out a word that may harm in some way, stop, take a breath and ask yourself some important questions:
- Does this have to be said?
- Does this have to be said by me?
- Does this have to be said by me now?
If even one of these questions raises a hint of doubt, then don’t! Better left unsaid than the pain of regret once it is said.
Someone very wise once remarked that you should only speak if it greatly improves the silence. And if it doesn’t? Well, as it is written, “Silence is golden!”
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As a Spiritual Animator, Author and Advocate, Carolyn Townes has been teaching, coaching and facilitating workshops for over a decade in the areas of women’s wellness. Founder of Spirit Women Institute, she is dedicated to empowering and encouraging women to lead lives of peace and prosperity, journeying with those going through difficult life transitions.
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