The Right to Struggle
Did you know that there is a right time to struggle? And you have that right to struggle. There is a lovely story of a man and a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared on a cocoon. A man sat and waited by the butterfly as it struggled to get out of the cocoon, as it forced its body through the newly formed little hole. Then it seemed to stop making progress.
It appeared to the man to have gotten as far as it could. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped through the remaining cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily, though it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand and would be able to support the body that would contract in time. But to his surprise, neither happened. In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with the swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness did not understand was that the struggle was required for that butterfly to get through the tiny opening in its restrictive cocoon. This process was nature’s way of forcing the fluid from the body into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
When you are facing obstacles and challenges, you may have lots of “well-meaning” family and friends looking to take their scissors and snip you out of your cocoon of struggle. No one likes difficult challenges or adversities, so you want rid of them as soon as possible. You and your well-meaning family and friends will do anything to break the cocoon before its time. But just like the caterpillar in the story, you must go through the struggle to get through the struggle. If you come through too soon, without having learned much needed lessons, you will continue your life’s journey swollen and shriveled; depleted of what is needed to move forward in your life.
We all want to experience the pleasantries of life, hoping to avoid the unpleasant parts. But this is not how life works. Life must dole out unpleasant experiences to strengthen us, to give us courage and confidence, and make us the powerful divine beings we were created to be. If there was no rain, we would not have beautiful flowers or vegetation. We also would not appreciate the sunshine as much.
How do we really know when we have grown spiritually, emotionally and intellectually? We know when we have grown physically – our clothes become too tight! But what is the benchmark of a spiritually mature person or an emotionally mature person? It is by the lessons learned during those moments of trial and tragedy. Also, by how those lessons are turned around to better the life of the person and those around them.
“He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.” ~ Aeschylus
The Greek tragedian Aeschylus phrased it so beautifully. In order for the caterpillar to become the butterfly, he had to first suffer. It had to go through the struggle of liquefying – which was nature’s way of creating the glorious wings. We too, must go through a process of liquefying – a letting go, a surrendering, an emptying of the excess baggage that holds us back and keeps us stuck.
Aeschylus goes on to say that through all of the struggle, the heartbreak and the heartache, wisdom does come to us. We come to a deeper level of awareness, one we would never have known if we had not struggled and surrendered. In surrendering, we let go of what no longer serves us to make room for what will ultimately serve us well. We cannot receive more if our own vessel is full to the brim. We must empty some out to make room for the new. We must let go of being a caterpillar to become a beautiful butterfly.
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As a Spiritual Animator, Author and Advocate, Carolyn Townes has been teaching, coaching and facilitating workshops for over a decade in the areas of women’s wellness. Founder of Spirit Women Institute, she is dedicated to empowering and encouraging women to lead lives of peace and prosperity, journeying with those going through difficult life transitions.
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