Earthly Love vs. Unconditional Love
I never thought that I would be able to fall in love with anyone. Long time ago I thought that there just isn’t any person that is meant to be with me. Then I went through the stage where I thought that it’s possible to love anyone if you become lovable enough. This, in fact, I still hold true.
Then I came to the stage where I started to love everyone unconditionally. And now I reached another end of the scale, by unexpectedly falling in love with one person.
I will leave the details about how we met for my book (which I only plan to write in a year or two), but in this blog post I will share with you the lessons I learnt from giving most love to one person only.
People have this false opinion that if the person gets enlightened or at least heightens her awareness level, she cannot regress. Unfortunately that is not the case, and a good example to prove this are the gurus who become ego bound when they gain more power. Like Osho, for example. His early teachings were excellent, but when he got more and more powerful he became corrupt and got addicted to pain relieving medicine.
But why do I tell you this? That’s because by falling into earthly love I also lost some of my spiritual awareness. It seems that earthly love and spirituality doesn’t go together.
Earthly love, what I found, awakens the ego. I also realised that earthly love is always conditional. And the more conditions you remove from loving one person, the more you open up to the love of the whole humanity. And then you cannot give as much importance to that one person as you used to.
So it seems like you cannot have both of these types of love because they are polar opposites. You are either loving total humanity and are impersonal with everyone (that is, you treat everyone equally) or you dedicate your love to one person and treat this person in a more loving manner.
What I’ve also found by loving one person is that your internal energy concentrates in the heart chakra and the mind becomes less active. And heart chakra is not the third eye or crown chakra – it acts totally on emotions, causing you sometimes to make foolish decisions (that is my experience, of course).
(Unconditional love also starts from the heart chakra, but you can only feel unconditional love if the higher chakras are not blocked. The heart chakra is in the astral plane, and both types of love originate here. However conditional love allows only a slight glimpse into this plane whilst unconditional love lets you fully experience it.)
What this activated heart chakra does is that it lets you taste the life fully, with all its ups and downs. You feel like you really live and life becomes more intense in all ways.
Heart chakra connects two planes – physical and spiritual. The heart chakra resides in the astral plane, which is between these two earlier mentioned planes. So by being in love (that is, by keeping this chakra active) you find balance between spiritual and physical worlds. If your focus is mainly on the physical plane, life seems dull and that there’s nothing to live for whilst being focused on the astral plane you can find true meaning in every earthly experience.
My awareness for a long time was in the third eye chakra, which is on the spiritual plane. Keeping my awareness on the spiritual plane I felt much more peaceful and uplifted, much more in the flow than I do now (because spiritual plane is on a higher vibration). But at this moment I’m happy with keeping my awareness on the astral plane because it helps me learn lessons I still haven’t learnt and it helps me to understand people stuck on this plane. But this plane is definitely much more energy consuming and extreme.
Earthly love can quickly create very strong emotional bonds between you and your lover. They almost feel like physical bonds because you feel deep pain when you are leaving your loved one for some time.
So although earthly love lets you taste real life, it can also give you a great deal of pain. Then arises the dilemma – to love conditionally or unconditionally. Most more enlightened people would choose unconditional love. I thought so too, but now I see it only as a polar opposite to the conditional love.
By loving someone conditionally you cannot feel what it’s like to love the whole humanity; By loving unconditionally you cannot know what it feels to love truly only one human being.
To love everyone unconditionally is very freeing and calming. It’s impossible to limit your unconditional love only to one person because this love is expansive. If you try to limit it, it will become conditional.
Unconditional love is very stable and passive. It gives you a lot of energy from the source and it gives you a constant positive attitude.
To be in earthly love with someone is very extreme. You go through many highs and lows and it’s hardly ever any stability, especially when the love is fresh and strong.
Earthly love is egoic because you assume that some person is yours or will be with you for some time. Unfortunately earthly love is not freeing, it bonds you to your lover like glue. And when you are separated from your lover for some time, you feel like something is missing in you and you feel pain inside.
Earthy love consumes energy. I find that I need to meditate more to restore my energy levels. It affects the mind too, because there is more focus on emotions (because the heart chakra is activated). So when I need to focus on something for a while sometimes it gets hard because of strong emotions active inside.
Now having written so many negative qualities of earthly love, you may think I’m trying to discourage you from falling into such love. This is by no means true. This experience is very enriching and eye-opening. How can a person claim he had a fulfilling and rich life if he avoided most experiences? Every experience teaches you something and shows some aspect of you to yourself. The secret here is not to stay attached too long to any experience because then your self improvement slows down.
Of course this doesn’t mean that after you experience falling in love with someone you should end this love and move on to experience something new. Love has so many aspects that it’s probably very hard to experience all of them in one life-time. Every day you can discover something new about your love and about your loved one.
What I have learnt about myself as a result of falling in earthy love is that I don’t trust people enough. Although I knew that already, I thought that I successfully solved this issue. It seems, however, that it’s not the case.
I also learnt that I can give my full love to one person without holding back. I’m very happy having found this because it shows that I changed. Before I used to hold back my love from people who loved me because I feared that I would get hurt if I completely loved them. Now the person whom I love fully feels this love and I feel his love too. This is very profound – I never experienced anything like this.
This love also made me understand (which before I really couldn’t understand) how deep a pain can be when you are separated from your loved one for a long time. Now for saying this some people will conclude that this shows I still have attachments. Yes, but I chose to be attached so as to experience earthly love. As I explain in my non attachment ebook, its possible to consciously shift from non attachment to attachment when you become completely or almost completely non attached.
Also, just to let you know, it’s always possible to end your conditional love, should you wish to do so. I choose to love one person because now I’m fully enjoying this new experience and I’m learning a great deal from this love. But if I wished to end it, I could simply meditate on the third eye, and then crown chakra, and my love would become again unconditional and expansive.
I’ve discovered, therefore, that conditional love is not permanent – it either ends naturally or one or both persons may choose to end it consciously. Now unconditional love Is permanent and it’s actually within every human being, but sometimes it’s obscured by the ego (when the ego is active it limits your love by creating conditions).
It seems that conditional love and ego are almost one and the same thing. Thanks God it’s still possible to reduce your ego by meditation, whilst still being in love with one person only. But that is quite hard to do, because once you love one person this strongly pulls you into an egoic side and away from your spiritual side.
Conditional love is like a fire. It’s very beautiful and bright, but it can burn you badly if you are not careful with it. And if you don’t know how to handle it, this flame of love may burn out very quickly.
I feel that by falling into earthly love I now understand life better and I can taste it more. This too allows me to understand those suffering from love problems. And although I still haven’t figured out everything about earthy love (far from it!) I’m glad that the Universe gave me a personal experience of this beautiful gift.
I think those who give bad publicity to earthly love (like some gurus) do so because they themselves have never been in such love. If they would have been, they would never discourage others from falling into such love, because earthly love teaches people about themselves and lets them taste life more fully.
And although this love made me more spiritually blind, I hope that I will learn many valuable lessons from it to compensate for my temporary loss of spiritual awareness.
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My name is Simona Rich and I help people improve themselves through the articles and products of this website. Although I have found my life's purpose and now I spend my time traveling throughout India and sharing my knowledge, my life used to be completely different. 
