Everything is Inside of You

by Lora Ciocan

This is my story. It is true.

I have been living in fear since I was born. Literally,  since I was born. I could feel it in every area of my life with every cell of my body. It is a terrifying way of living your life; it is like someone is torturing you to death but the death is never coming. And I lived like this for about 32 years…

I failed to understand what was going on with me, why everybody is making me feel so miserable? WHY I AM PUNISHED BY GOD?

My first boyfriend died suddenly after about 4 years of relationship. I hated my job and finely the fear won. I started to have panic attacks. Even though I began researching about the symptoms and the treatment on the internet, I was not able to do too much.

The panic kept me down for about 2 years. The shortest panic attack lasted about 24 hours and the longest was about 2 weeks. The intensity went up and down, up and down and so on… And all this time I had to go to work, to attend meetings, to greet the customers. I was constantly keeping my hand on my chest and forced myself to breath, I was leaning against the walls praying that nobody will notice me. I could not eat and I got dehydrated. I could not sleep well for more than one year. I begin to think that I rather be dead than living like this. I had reached the very bottom.

The fear paralyzed me. I could not do anything but stay in the bed and shake. Unconsciously, unintentionally I kept shaking. And one day, on idea came to me. I thought that if I could keep myself busy I would not have time to think or to feel. So, I thought of having a second job on evenings. Because of my passion for make-up, working part-time in a wedding planner agency seemed a pretty good idea at that time. After a couple of interviews, I got a job at one agency. Working there was not the smartest decision but worth it from another perspective: one of the girls told me about the DVD with the movie called “The Secret”. There was the first time in my entire life when I felt that might be some hope for me.

But that was just the beginning. My mind, my body simply did not listen to me. They resisted the change as much as they could. I started to feel desperate. The intensity of panic attacks came back to me even stronger. I truly was afraid to close my eyes and sleep during the night because I was afraid of dying while I was sleeping. I forced myself even harder. This process back and forth was about two months. I was exhausted but I did not give up. For me, there was no turning back. I forced myself to believe that in the end, at some point, the mind will stop fighting me.

Every single second of work with me started to show results in about 60 days. While I was walking down the street one day, in a newspaper store, I noticed a book of Paul McKenna with a CD of hypnosis. Probably many of you heard about him. The Universe was responding. Some people may say it was good luck. I say I created this luck. In fact, I worked really hard for it. I started to search for his books and seminars. A few weeks later I was searching on-line for techniques for self-improvement and the proper way for meditation and I found on Youtube some videos about the so-called “tapping technique”. I remembered then that even Paul McKenna described it in one of his books.

The Tapping Technique or EFT (also known as Emotional Freedom Technique) is based on acupuncture. You basically tap some acupuncture points of your body and help the energy to move in a different direction. For me, it worked for the first time I have tried it.

I had so many things left aside, unable to complete them because of the way I felt. I have made really big efforts to go to work in my previous mornings and, at the end of the day, I have just rushed at home to… stay in bed. I was emotionally paralyzed. I even did not think twice when I found out about EFT or Paul McKenna’s techniques. I just automatically tried them. And when I started to feel the difference in my body, I was shocked by the results. Literally, I was shocked.

What happened during the next 2-3 weeks was absolutely a miracle. My suppressed dreams from all these years, my desires started to manifest just like that. I was trying for more than 1 year to get my application done for my USA visa and after I started EFT I get it done in 2 weeks. I was trying for more than 3 years to pass my exam for my driving license and with EFT I did it in 1 month! I was walking the streets amazed! I could not believe that this is indeed my life! Still cannot believe!

And all this time the fear refused to leave my mind and my body. It simply refused to leave ME. But I let it be. I just constantly repeated while EFT process: “Even though I don’t know how I am going to make it, I don’t see any way how I can heal myself and just a tiny part of me believes it while the rest of my being is resisting, I choose for myself to believe”. I was using every second that I had to tap even without saying words. And as a result, my body stopped fighting me. Just like that. One night after tapping, which was happening on 25.04.2011, one idea of a prayer came into my mind. I put it on a piece of paper and put it on my bedroom wall so I can see it every day and read it every morning. It helped me so I will share with you:

“Everything is EASY. I am relaxed, calm and happy. The ideas come towards me easily, the people come towards me easily with inspired ideas, the situations and opportunities come towards me in every second. Everything is happening effortless.

I am able to solve every problem easily. Every single time when I breathe deeply, my brain is connecting to the Source energy and works in my benefit. Everything that is around me, is here to help me, to make my dreams come true so I can live the life I choose, to have the clothes, the car, the trips, the experiences and the career that I want.

I build in my mind the image of everything that I desire and I breathe every detail of it.

I achieve everything that I want. I am using the power of my mind for set my body free of even the last trace of stress that might exist in it.

Everything that is around me is PERFECT. I enjoy every second of my life with everything that I receive from the Universe as a gift or because I wished it.

I am HAPPY.

THANK YOU”.

I get to take notes on the back of the paper that has this prayer on. Here they are:

14.05.– I have received a “lucky” elephant statue that it is believed in Feng Shui that brings prosperity in house if you keep it with the face to the light (window) and his back to the door.

03.06. – I have found about the book of T. Harv Eker called: “The secrets of a millionaire mind”

- I have decided to take my trip to USA in August 2011

03.07.- I have discovered the ho’oponopono technique

05.07.- my first good night sleep since I started the healing process of EFT and ho’oponopono.

17.07.- first article sent to Simona Rich

No matter what I do during the day, when I have a moment to clear my mind I say to myself: “Everything is easy. I can solve anything easily. Everything is Perfect. I am sorry. Please forgive me.” It is all about believing that the Universe will take care of you. Just give it a try.

The fear did not leave my mind, my soul or my body, but I have learned how to make it work for me.

Since the moment I had the decision of changing my life, I have dedicated to my healing 100%, and I have never looked back. The moment you will start to believe you are not alone in the world, that what you have experienced no matter how terrible it was is you that are responsible for and because of that only you can change it and nobody else for you, you will not look back either.

You might also like:

1. Inside the Mirror
2. Tools to Open Doors: How to Overcome Obstacles