How To Get What You Really Want – A Personal Story

I don’t often write about my personal relationships but this story would benefit too many people to not talk about it. So here it goes… (and I hope the people who are in the story either won’t read it or won’t get offended for being mentioned:))

When I came to the UK (in 2006 I guess) I started dating one guy a few weeks after coming to this country. This was a long-term relationship that I talked about here and we split up and made up multiple times during the years of our life together. However what I didn’t mention is that there was another guy involved in this story.

When I started studying at Luton university one day me and my friend where chatting next to the exit door. Another friend saw us and approached us with her male-friend. Well that male-friend (let’s call him Stuart) was a really cool guy and we became good buddies.

Although I had a suspicion that Stuart liked me, I couldn’t know for sure because he didn’t display any obvious signs that would indicate that. After studies we would take a walk around the town talking about life and the future, we would also invite each other home for parties or meals with other friends.

Although we did the usual stuff friends do my suspicion grew about his affection towards me because whenever I would have time to meet he would drop everything to be with me.

One day, I remember, I had a fight with my boyfriend (let’s call him Andrew) and at that time I was staying in London. Well as soon as Stuart found out he came from Luton to London late evening and cheered me up until I felt okay.

When Andrew found out that I was sometimes seeing Stuart, he really got upset about it. And although I told Andrew that me and Stuart were really just friends, he asked me not to see him again. I put myself in the shoes of Andrew and realised how he must be feeling and so I decided not to see Stuart again.

Two long years passed by without me seeing Stuart but he never gave up. Not even once did he miss calling me to wish a happy birthday or a happy new year. He remembered all the important dates we had together and always emailed me and sent me text messages. I didn’t respond to most of them. Sometimes I felt really sorry for him being ignored by me so I would send some lame apologetic message with an excuse of why I can’t answer his calls/emails/messages.

Even when I was no longer with Andrew I so got into this habit of ignoring Stuart’s calls that I still kept doing that. Then one day I asked myself why I still ignore his calls and messages when that won’t offend anyone anymore. And so the next time he called I decided to meet with him.

We arranged to meet in a Costa cafe and I came there earlier to finish some coaching emails. I heard my name being called, looked up and there stood smiling Stuart. We talked about a lot of stuff that happened during the years we didn’t see each other and I did not feel any anger from him towards me for not answering his calls. He was just really happy to finally see me again.

A few days later we met up again and he opened up a bit. He told me that he liked me since the day he met me but felt it inappropriate to tell me that because I had a boyfriend. When I explained that I felt the same way about him he opened up even more and told me that I was the only girl he truly loved. He told me all the things he loved about me which really surprised me. For example, he said that he loved the fact that I never take advice from anyone or I listen to people but then do an opposite thing to what they’re advising me. Usually people dislike this about me so it was nice to hear that from Stuart.

He told me that he waited for me all these years. That made me feel a bit upset because I didn’t realise how much sorrow I caused him when I would refuse to answer his calls. But past is past and now I’m very glad that I decided to meet him.

Now our relationship is getting stronger and more intense as each day passes by. I don’t like to label my experiences but I can freely say that I’m in a loving relationship with a guy whose only goal is to make me happy. And although the timing is very unfortunate (I won’t be staying in UK for long – but about that later on:)) we appreciate each day we have for ourselves.

So the moral of the story is… If you really really want something in particular, keep taking action and refuse the alternatives until you get it!

Or should I say… Regular follow-ups work!:)

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