The Cage of Fear

I remember when I was a teenager at school I used to have a best friend in my class. When we were together, we would always think of something exciting and unusual to do. We would as though become an unstoppable force seamlessly going through all the barriers and achieving all our dreams.

I especially remember the time we decided to hitchhike all the way to the seaside and stay there for around a week. Obviously our parents by no means would allow us to travel alone (we were around16), so we came up with a convincing story about our class taking a trip to the seaside.

Once we got the money from our parents, we bought the cheapest tent we could possibly find, some food, drinks and we hit the road. After I believe 15 minutes we managed to stop a car that was going the way we needed. We were taken about halfway, hitchiked again and successfully got to the sea port. It was just half an hour left to the seaside that we wanted to get to.

Even not entirely at our destination, we felt exhilarated. We felt so free and it seamed that everything was possible. We tried to work out whether we could get to the seaside by walking and when some people in the car saw us looking lost and asked if we need help, we explained our plan to reach the seaside on foot. They all laughed and said it would be a long  and confusing road and we were better off going there by car. We ended up being offered a ride which we happily accepted.

Those people were so nice that we exchanged numbers and they asked us to call them if something happens. We were really grateful for that and promised them to do just that if we got in trouble.

Once we were at the beach, we couldn’t contain ourselves. We were all alone there, so free, without the watchful eyes of the teachers and parents. We could do absolutely everything we wanted to, we could sleep on the sand dunes if we wanted, we could swim at night in the sea, we could visit the surrounding towns – the opportunities were unlimited!

And so we celebrated this event big time. We explored all the area, convinced one beach hotel to store our items so that we could baglessly (my invented word) explore the seaside. We swam in the sea although the sea was really cold – it was an amazing experience. We also visited shops, beach bars, explored the area were the lifeguards were staying and befriended some locals.

Then came the evening and we needed to find a place to sleep. We took our stuff back from the hotel and tried to find a place for a tent. We tried to build the tent on the sand dunes but this plan failed miserably as the sand (what a surprise) couldn’t hold the short tent poles.

Because the sandy beach area couldn’t hold the tent we had to head to the forest. Two female teenagers sleeping in a lousy tent in a forest in an unknown area. When I think about it I still laugh. At that time we felt completely safe and we found the fact that we would sleep in the forest really exciting.

We finally managed to build the tent. However the tent was extremely thin (only one layer) and unstable. It was really really cold at night and we probably slept only for a few hours. Plus we could swear we heard some animals near our tent, but we didn’t think about it much because we didn’t want to frighten ourselves. Instead of that, we wrote detailed diaries (both of us) so that we could always remember this great trip.

That night we swore that we will never have to sleep in that cheap tent again – no matter what.

The morning came and we finally got some sun warmth. We bathed in the sea and felt refreshed. We went to the beach bar, ordered something to eat and continued exploring the area. Soon we made friends with two lifeguards that befriended us whilst we were exploring the shops in the area. They were really nice people kind enough to show us round.

They asked if we wanted to see the place they were staying as they said they had a great pool there and a cafe. We agreed (always say Yes to life!) and they took us to a really beautiful swimming pool that looked like something from the movies (we’ve never seen such a beautiful swimming pool before). We took some pictures together and had some light snacks.

We started talking with those two lifeguards about life and about our trip. They were shocked to find out that we hitchhiked all the way from the capital and they were even more shocked to discover that we slept in the forest. As we later found out, that forest had plenty of wild boars. So we DID hear the animals:)

I guess they felt sorry for us having to sleep in that horrible tent and so they invited us to sleep for as long as we like at their accommodation. They had plenty of available rooms there (it was a large place for lifeguards who were from other towns to stay) and they said nobody would find out about us as they knew how to access this house without anyone knowing. We instantly agreed as we would probably not bear another night of cold weather and wild boars:)

So we found ourselves on the second night comfortably sleeping in a house for lifeguards.

At night we could hear a strange voice coming from another room. It sounded like someone would say (“Mommy, mommy, mommy”) over and over again.

In the morning we ate the food that we still had from back home and then we met with other lifeguards and exchanged many interesting stories. The lifeguards were from all over the country (I’m talking about Lithuania here) and so it was interesting to hear how and why they became lifeguards.

We also asked what was that sound that we heard that sounded like “Mommy” being said over and over again. One person straight away explained that his friend kept repeating this during the sleep, and we all laughed at this big guy calling his mom in his sleep! Even now I smile as I remember this.

After a few days we realised that those two lifeguards that we initially met started to like us a lot and they would always follow us everywhere, so we decided to back off (as free birds as we were:)). So we thanked them for everything and set off to explore other parts of this beautiful seaside.

As soon as we let go of something, another adventure came into our lives. We went to a beautiful club-bar like place and there we met two other guys: a DJ from the capital and a basketball player who came from the States, but was originally from Lithuania.

They were best friends and they said that they were staying on this beach because a DJ’s parents owned a holiday house here. We became really good buddies straight away and although we came from completely different backgrounds, it seemed that we knew each other for ages. You probably know what I’m talking about, sometimes you can just “click” with a person instantly.

So we chatted for a very long time with them whilst visiting beautiful places of this small town. We told about our adventures since we came here and they asked if we would like to stay at their house since it’s only two of them and the house is really large. We were so surprised and happy about this offer and we agreed.

Only then it dawned on us that if they wouldn’t have offered this, we probably would need to stay in the tent again. But because we didn’t think about it at all and only enjoyed ourselves, the Universe took care of the details.

The DJ’s house was the most beautiful house we were ever in. It was I guess the house that many people see in their minds when they visualise their dream homes. Everything about it was perfect: it was spacious, relaxing, with beautiful furniture, large windows and balconies. From the balconies we could see the beach, the forests and most of the town. We stayed there till the end of our trip.

We wanted this trip to never end, but it was the time to hitchhike back to the capital. Our new friends waited until the car pulled up and we promised to keep in touch with each other. After a few more hitchiking attempts we finally got home, as happy as ever.

Even when a few years passed by, we still remembered this trip as it happened yesterday. We were so grateful that we dared to take it, in spite of the stupid news warnings that usually talk about the dangers of hitchiking and the dangers of everything to do with unsupervised teenagers.

After this adventure we took a few other trips and did a few other crazy things that I won’t even mention. Ever. Some of them were really stupid and foolish, however I don’t regret doing anything because all those experiences made who I am today and greatly enriched my life.

The girl I travelled with was the only friend that would agree to act on my crazy ideas. Yes, the ideas were always mine, I would always come up with something like this. However when I would suggest some of the ideas to other friends, they were too cautious, too scared, too “domesticated”. So I’m very grateful to have had a friend who would not be afraid to do something not so ordinary.

Even now I have only a few friends who would do something like this. It’s a shame that so many people are scared to do anything that looks at least a bit dangerous. By dismissing such ideas they turn away from the experiences they would remember and smile about all their lives. Instead they comfort themselves with their boring routines and unfulfilling jobs only to regret having uselessly wasted their lives when the death is near. How sad.

The reason I’ve told you this lengthy personal story is to make you more open to living your dreams. No matter how dangerous or unusual your dream or plan is, go for it! It’s likely you will have the time of your life, so why not?

What stops people from going for what they want in life is fear. But fear is the opposite of freedom. When you are scared, you live in a cage. When you do something in spite of fears, you unlock the door to freedom.

No matter what others say about your plans, they don’t live your life – you do, so they have no authority to advise you about anything. And it’s better not to share your plans with anyone anyway, unless of course it’s a person you want to accomplish those plans with!

Don’t stop doing something only because you don’t see how it will turn out. When we were shivering at night in a tent, we didn’t decide to end our trip so that not to spend another night the same way. Instead we resolved not to sleep in the tent again and so the universe created another outcome. That’s what always (always) happens when you resolve, let go and let God.

Think about the most exciting thing you did in your life. If it’s not exciting by your own standards, it means you let the fear stop you. But the good news is, you still have time! So no matter how foolish or “irresponsible” you might look to others, go for your dreams. That’s what life is about anyway.

And if someone tries to discourage you, look at their lives and ask yourself if they are an authority on the subject. The answer, of course, will be “no”, because only those who are cowards and did nothing special with their lives would try to also make the cowards of others.

Here’s my last advice of encouragement. If you really let go and go for your dreams, no matter how crazy they seem, the universe will be grateful for your trust and would provide you a safe cushion to land everytime you find yourself falling. The universe always takes care of those who trust it.

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1. How To Overcome Fear