The Way You See Yourself Is Not The Way Others May See You, Plus Some Tips To Be Liked By Others

I cannot be quiet about that any longer. The truth of what I’m going to say is staring right into me . I gained so many experiences that prove this to be a universal truth that I have to share it with you.

Okay, here it goes… People who are unsuccessful see themselves how they wish they would be like, but not how they really are. Whereas those who are successful have full awareness of who they are and how they are perceived by other people.

So if you are not succeeding in life, it’s a fact that you see yourself in a different light than how others see you. Whatever you do, you will perceive your work in a way that is different from how others perceive it to be.

That’s why most websites, for example, don’t attract many visitors. The owners of the websites have no awareness of the mistakes they make that more successful (and thus more aware) people consider obvious.

The way I managed to attract increasing number of visitors (now I get over 1,000 unique visitors per day) is because my awareness kept increasing revealing my mistakes and thus I was able to correct them.

The more aware I become, the more visitors my website attracts. However those who stay on the same awareness level will not witness the gradual increase of their website visitors. Your business grows, your life improves to the extent you grow.

How to gain more awareness to change your results

The better you know who you are, the more you will be able to spot what you should work on and thus change for the better.

If you find it hard to view yourself in the real light, you should pay attention to people who achieved what you want to achieve and see how you can adjust what you do to create the results similar to what those people have. This will shed a light to what you do that’s not working.

For example, if you have a business that doesn’t attract many clients/sales, look at the business in your industry that attracts many clients/sales and see what you do differently than them. Those differences are likely to be the gaps in your awareness. Spot them and learn from them. This way you will gain new valuable awareness about how to make your business more successful.

All the successful people I know have their role models who achieved more than them. Observing people who achieved more fills in the blanks which prevent you from achieving the success your role model has. So it makes sense to look up to those who achieved more, not for the reasons of copying, but for gaining new awareness. Once you are aware of the actions they take, you can personalise them.

I’m not saying you should compare yourself to others and beat yourself up if you achieved less than them. You should pay attention to high achievers for inspiration and motivation, because if one person achieved something great, you can achieve it too. We all have the same laws working for us.

Some examples of the lack of awareness from my own experience

I notice that the more clearly I see myself, the more successful I become. And I gain this awareness by reading books, associating with high achievers and spending time evaluating things. I especially noticed that my awareness expands when I try to generalise my experiences to discover laws or truths, like discovering the truth I’m writing about now.

Because of this constant self development, I notice that my awareness shifts really fast.

For example, what I’ve recently noticed, is that my business cards suck, although a few weeks ago I happily ordered 400 of them to be shipped to my address. Once they arrived, my awareness was higher so I wasn’t impressed with what I saw and now my designer is busy creating a better design.

If, throughout those two weeks, instead of learning and questioning my beliefs I would be watching TV or engaging in other brainless activities, I would be happy to see the new business cards. But that happiness in fact would signify ignorance and stagnation because my awareness would remain the same.

When I look back a few years at who I was and what I did, I see such a huge change. I was a totally different person back then. I would go as far as to say that every day I’m a different person because I have an insatiable hunger for new information. I read and apply so much of the advice from seminars and books you would probably find it hard to believe.

If you happen to see me anywhere in public, you would probably find me with a book or laptop, unless I’m with a client or friend obviously. I read a lot because it gives me pleasure and I know that the more information I take in and apply, the more aware I become about myself and the world.

A perfect example of the awareness lacking person

Once I attended a business seminar and saw a guy there who kept complaining about his impossible situation. He could not understand why it’s so hard for him to find a job. I straight away knew why, but his awareness did not allow him to see that.

Sadly, if I was to say why he didn’t have a job, he wouldn’t have believed me and would be insulted by what I said, because the way he saw himself was completely different to the way he was perceived by most people.

(You should know that everyone has a different perception, but most people have similar perceptions. For example, if a person would talk loudly on the phone in a high-pitched voice, most people would find that annoying, no matter what background they come from.)

First, his appearance wasn’t impressive because he ignored basic good appearance standards. Second, his business cards (he made them for his new website) were the worst ones I have ever seen, and I’ve seen many of them. I think he printed them at his own home. If you cannot afford to order business cards, I would advise not to have them at all. But it’s impossible nowadays not to afford such purchase as you can of get the basic type of them for almost nothing even in the UK.

Furthermore, he was very shy and when he talked, he was quiet and slow, so when it was one of the rare occasions that he would talk, he would annoy others and bore them to death because he was so out of rapport with everyone.

That shows that this person lacked basic awareness about who he was. It’s extremely important to know yourself if you want to be more successful than most people, because most people don’t know themselves that well. So when you take time to study yourself and high achievers, you are miles ahead of the common crowd.

Here’s some of my advice about what you should be aware of if you want to be perceived well by others and thus achieve more success…

Pay attention to how you:

Look – by that I mean making sure that you look neat and have a good hygiene. Keep your breath fresh at all times – that’s very important but sooooo many people ignore this basic piece of advice.

Dress – dress for success because people will judge you from what you wear. Even if you don’t care whether you are judged or not (I don’t), you might suffer from not getting enough sales/not getting a job/not getting along with people if you don’t pay attention to how you dress.

If you want to appeal to business people, dress business-like way, if you want to appeal to well-off people, buy designer clothes. In general, it’s really good save up and buy quality clothes and have fewer of them than to spend your money on plenty of cheap high street clothes.

Talk – not too slow, not too fast; avoid talking for too long if you see that people are getting bored. Your tone of voice should be pleasant; try to sound melodic rather than monotonic.

Don’t forget to:

Smile – it’s very important to genuinely smile or at least have a positive facial expression. Avoid looking passive or upset as that will make people feel uncomfortable.

Listen – listen more than you talk and take genuine interest in people.

Appear/be confident – don’t apologize for insignificant things, look straight in the eye and maintain eye contact, give firm handshakes, have a good posture, make pauses between sentences, don’t be afraid of the moments of silence in a conversation. Actions/attitudes as such show your confidence and make you appear more successful.

Be aware of your body language - don’t cross arms or make any other gestures that suggest your insecurity. Try to mirror the other person if you are falling out of rapport with him/her, but not in a too obvious manner.

Abandon bad habits – don’t pick your nose or move about too much or decide to tidy your fingernails. I know it sounds basic, but you would be surprised how many people ignore these common sense tips.

Have high energy – this is very important. People are attracted and influenced by those whose energy is high. Low energy people are energy vampires who are surrounded only by victims. Successful people avoid energy vampires because they understand the harm such people can do.

Keep your energy high by meditating, eating fruit and veg and avoiding meat and processed foods. Stay positive and associate with people who have high energy; Spend a lot of time on hobbies and avoiding anything that drains you. These activities will insure your energy is high at all times.

Conclusion

Hopefully this article of mine will help those who can’t understand why aren’t successful. It’s all to do with your awareness. The clearer you see yourself and the world, the more successful you will become. This will happen because your awareness will let you see your mistakes and thus you will be able to correct them.

To change your awareness, look at what high achievers do that you don’t, consciously think about who you are, read self improvement materials and go to self growth seminars. Also, read the advice I have given you towards the end of this article as it will be a perfect start for improving yourself and changing the perception other people have about you.

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