Trusting to Close My Eyes

by Monika Kovacs

I am a yogi in training. I practice several times a week, and bring away much transformation from each opportunity to move and connect. My last experience left me with something utterly profound.

At the start of each practice, it is helpful to set an intention, as to what we expect to get out of the class. For me, personally, at times, my being wants to just enter, free, and open, and reveal what it needs as I go. The beauty of yoga IS that, it is an individual journey to the same divine place, of being one with our higher selves. No rules, no right or wrong; only a commitment to the journey to the center of our being.

I was fairly focused and quieted my mind down quicker than usual. It all seemed totally effortless that night. I was in tree pose focusing on a single point before me.  Holding my pose steady, calm, very strong.  It was easy.  So much so that I felt I needed more, my being needed to go deeper.  Thus I tried to challenge myself to hold the pose and move through the remainder of my practice with my eyes closed.  That is when it all ‘fell apart.’ Surprisingly, every time I tried to close my eyes, my balance went, I shook and lost my pose, so much that I was unable to get back into tree.

As I get to experience each challenge through yoga, it always opens my mind to a new level of insight. The longer I practice the faster I change and transform I feel. I guess the Universe DOES love speed .

This particular experience made me have a profound insight on love. It is my belief, that to truly fall in LOVE, we have to be able to ‘close our eyes,’ and trust to fall.  Trust in what we are to find behind the closed eyes, in the sacred garden of love, inside the world, where only our heart and spirit can see. Where our bodies would move only to the beats of our hearts, dance only to the songs of our spirits, and embrace everything within and without according to how our higher self would govern us. But for that, we have to be able to close our eyes, and trust to go deep, within.

Just think of the last time you enjoyed a romantic kiss fully lost in the moment, with your eyes closed, allowing your body to move to the rhythms of your hearts’ beating. Compare that to a kiss where your eyes were open and your body remained rigid and controlled. What dictates the difference between the two, are the unseen, the unheard voices of our inner guidance; that we can only fully experience, when we can trust to close our eyes, and only answer to the experience.

It has been said that, ‘in order to find balance in love we have to be able to find a way to lose balance in life.’  This is huge; the quest of a lifetime, so few are fortunate enough to experience truly, fully. To say no to the limiting beliefs, the world our open eyes determine. Rather, say ‘yes’ to a life that honors the world possible behind closed eyes first, and create the physical experience on that.

This is what yoga taught me that particular night. Learning to close my eyes, and trust my fall, little bits at a time.  With the trust I build in my heart, I also trust my higher self for all the guidance I need.  Letting my body express all that it needs to support and house my divine being. The divine circle of human existence.

There is absolutely nothing to lose this way, only fear itself. Love will be the greatest reward, and all that remains.  I encourage practicing yoga, so you too can learn to trust your inner strength to support your body’s ability to be there for you; for your heart and spirit to be housed in a secure temple, for when you would be ready to be strong enough, to close your eyes.

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